Share And Share Alike.

People find very different things funny.
“Hahahahahahaha!” I snorted while in the car with Mr L.A. one day.
“What?” He looked around for something other than my ugly feet to find even remotely amusing.
“That lady walking just fell over.”
His eyes fell on my punch line.
“Are you kidding me?”
“Hahahahahah!” Boggers, literally, fell out of my nose.
“She was retarded.”
“Oh.”
Still, it was funny.

When life revolves around just a handful of people, it can become easy to forget that there are actually six billion people in the world, all of who are different [except for the Olsen Twins]. Some people love the colour mauve. Quite a few people will eat garlic on a first date. Other people will have sex with everything involving a pulse and several will not.
There is an abundance of different tastes, expectations and morals.

I have a remarkable ability to remain friends with people I have slept with.
It is fortunate, really, because if I dared to go in the other direction my Christmas card list would appear noticeably bare.
“Doesn’t it get awkward?” Someone I am not too close with asked.
“No. Just expensive.”

Being liberal means being liberal in every sense of the word: I applaud casual sex but treat the person with respect. I don’t want a romantic relationship but I embrace friendships. I laugh at the hilarity of one-night stands but never at Him. Within the paradigm, I am unwavering. Because, by definition, liberalism is about equality and I support equality whole-heartedly [unless we are talking about cupcakes. Then they are all for me.]
Currently two of my closest boy friends are boys I have slept with.
“We have quite the incestuous little group here,” we all noticed after we embraced the other essential component of liberalism: honesty.
“Maybe we need to start recruiting?” I pondered. Because, boredom, apparently, is the quickest way to ruin a perfectly good cult of iniquity.
When I was little, my mum never bought me stickers or Pogs to share with my friends. I can only suppose that my habits as an adult are a direct reflection of this and I, thus, have a Freudian instinct to share as much as possible.

“That is hilariously immoral,” the friend I don’t know in the Biblical sense exclaimed.
“I know. But she just didn’t see the point in stickers.”
“I mean how can you have sex without even the intention of it leading somewhere?”
“Oh.” I thought for a moment. “Not everything has to lead beyond breakfast. Except lunch.”
“That is retarded.”
Still, it is fun.

As a girl, having such a liberal approach to sex is different to many others. Many people only like to talk about It, while others only like to Do It and never mention it. I am the X percent of six billion who like to do both. I don’t judge people who [miss out and] don’t have sex for the sheer fun of it. It is against my moral code to do so. So when someone judges me for having [random] sex, I have to wonder how that fits into their set of perfect guidelines[?].

Sometimes I wish I could jump ship and be part of the other three billion members of the population. It sure would make personal hygiene less time consuming.

I sat watching “Yes Man” with another name on my mailing list.
“This movie isn’t very funny,” I announced forty-five seconds into Jim Carrey acting retarded.
He agreed. “Do you know what we could do instead?”
I thought for a moment. “Bake cupcakes?”
“No, mam.” He winked.
“Hmm….This is awkward…”

I returned home [alone] and crawled into bed, realizing that, maybe, I still don’t share everything.